Unemployment - Phase III

It’s been 8 months now of being unemployed, and it has been worse than I expected. If I deny to do any household work they will definitely kick me out of the house for sure.

I did not choose to be unemployed, but it happened. I applied nearly 350+ jobs in the last 3 months and did not get a single response from the companies that I applied.

I think I am losing my mind. Some mornings I wake up with hope, and by evening the silence from inboxes feels like a weight.

The house feels loud even when it is quiet. Every small task turns into a judgement and every delay becomes a reason to blame. I feel like I have to prove my existence every day.

I still try to keep a routine. I search, apply, learn, and rewrite my resume. I take breaks, I breathe, and I try to be kind to myself. But it is hard when the world keeps telling you that you are not enough.

If I had to say to anyone who are in college, get any job and live a life. Don’t be like me. Get that first step early, even if it is small.

I am writing this to remember that this phase will pass. I want to hold on to the idea that a door will open and I will walk through it with courage.

House is like a hell now, very worse and painful. Still, I will keep moving. I want to see better days and I want to be ready when they arrive.